Through the glass doors and up the elevator. Push the button “2″. Doors open and we see…
Corrugated metal. It’s like being inside a giant refrigerator with a “Mainframe Entertainment” sign embedded into the wall. At the end of a short hall is a big glass wall with a big glass door. There are ReBoot icons stenciled (or ground, I can’t recall) across the middle of the whole thing, and beyond it we can see a reception area with a desk and a corporate-looking person talking on the telephone. The door, we come to find, is locked, so we wait to be admitted.
Finally the corporate-looking person notices us and lets us in. She cheerfully chats with us for a bit while subtly extracting information about who we are and what we are doing. After getting that straightened out she sits us down on some couches while we wait for her to prepare two Non-Disclosure Agreements.
In the corner is a life-size Mike The TV with a real television in his face. He’s playing the Mainframe Ent. promotion reel. Against the wall is a locked glass case containing show merchandise displayed like trophies. After a short wait our guide, Virgil, walks into the room. We all shake hands, sign our forms, get our escort badges dished out, and he takes us around the facility. (I am convinced that it must have been built with confusion in mind, as I got lost more than once in the twisty corrugated passages of that place.)
In large open bays row upon row of graphic designers sat hunched over large touchscreens. In a huge office in the corner of the building the CEO was completely suspended in telephone cords; as fast as his assistants could unwrap him he became entangled in more. But the deals were being made, and business was moving along. We met him for a few moments.
Hello, how are you, we are fine, we’ll let you get back to work now. Good luck with those telephone cords.
Way in the back, past the tech department and past the ANCIENT PAL-based video gear was a closet that held all the master tapes. The original ReBoot episodes were on these tapes, and on other tapes our guide, Virgil, said there were things that never made it to air. One of the tech guys plugged one of the tapes into the machine, and we saw on the monitor the suspended head of Bob, saying lines not heard in any episode.
All over the facility hung original concept artwork. Bad Bob and Megatruck, the original image of the Tor… CC and I spent some time looking at things which to us represented cherished moments in our childhood.
In a tiny little closet ReBoot merchandising that never made it to the shelves sat in cardboard boxes. Our guide, Virgil, showed us loads of weird stuff, including (don’t laugh) hexadecimal baby socks. There were backpacks, posters, watches, (no toothbrushes unfortunately), bedsheets, and strange articles of clothing not designed for human beings. There were board games and picture puzzles, VHS cassette tapes of the first four episodes in Spanish, in Japanese…. These things were brought out of storage, paraded before our eyes (and camera) and put away again.
The kitchen area, we were told, was built with Dot’s Diner in mind. We kinda saw it, in the color schemes, et cetera…. but not really. The coolest part of the whole tour came when our guide, Virgil, drew back a sequined curtain to reveal the embalmed body of Mark Ralston in a Megabyte-themed coffin.
Actually, I lied about that last part. Nugget Man is alive and well, shoveling up minerals in Nowhere Ontario.
The best part of the tour REALLY came when Virgil led us into a tiny glass elevator full of buttons, which covered the walls and ceiling. CC pushed the big red one, and we zoomed up and up and up, bursting through the roof and past the cumulii, soaring higher and higher into the clear air where a flock of birds, whistling cheerful death dirges as they floated through their native environment, snapped their delicate necks against our glass walls.